hmmmm

Heaven & Earth

Heaven will be where there's no more sickness, death, pain, or suffering. There will be no sin there, everyone will treat each other with kindness, gentleness, and love. No more separation and loneliness. The way God meant it to be in the beginning.

Earth has disease and death, hate and strife, selfishness, pain, and sufferering. I hurt you & you hurt me, whether intentionally or not.

I long to be home in heaven. Sometimes I ask God to take me home. This life is so hard and it hurts so much. I hope and believe for the heaven I described above because that's God's promise for those who believe in His son, Jesus Christ. I have trouble with what to hope and believe for here. God's promises aren't as clear here and God warns us that we'll have trouble, that we'll suffer and have hardships. I asked God to help me here this morning.

He brought to mind some people I know and myself. He gave me three examples - sports, math, and art.

Exercise:
A person out of shape has no real interest in exercising & sports- it's too hard and painful. It's a lot of work. The thing is though, that if that person perserveres and doesn't give up, it will get easier and easier - even to the point where that person will begin to enjoy it and want to participate in sports.

Math:
Same thing. A person who has difficulty understanding math will want to quit, give up, and just not do it. If that person keeps trying and perservering, eventually he/she will understand and have victory over it. The fear will disappear and it'll be no problem after that.

Art:
A person who's no good at art, has an idea of what he/she wants in his/her head but just can't get the hands to obey, has no interest in making works of art. (Me) But...if I keep trying, keep working at it, eventually my hands will be trained to where they'll obey my mind and I'd enjoy making works of art.

What does all this have to do with heaven and earth? We are sinful now and it's just easier to follow the flesh and give in to temptation. Being all God asks us to be is hard and can be painful, especially since we are in a world with other sinful people who have free will, just like us. In heaven we're called to be loving and kind. I thought that why not go to heaven now since God's going to instantaniously change me? It's about attitudes. God will instantaniously change me to be a sinless being. But think about it - at one time Satan was a sinless being, as was Adam and Eve. Attitude. This living out on earth will train us to want and enjoy the sinless life. If we didn't live out the difficulties, when we're made sinless, would we want to act as God desires us to? Would it seem easier to just do what we want?

Trials/tests:
Back to sports, math, and art. In sports, there's trials. I'm not referring to the trials that say whether you're "in" or not but the trials for those who are already "in". What are they meant to do? Not to boot you out but to see how you're doing and where you need improvement. Math tests? Same thing - how are you doing? where do you need more work? Art? Ditto. Then where we didn't do so well, we get more exercises, more problems, more practice. Then guess what? Test again. Even after we pass the test, we may be retested to see what we've retained, like a midterm exam and final exam. The best way to keep on top is to continue to practice and USE what we've learned regularly.

Back to heaven and earth. If we practice on earth what we'll be doing in heaven, we will have an attitude when we get to heaven that'll keep us close to God.

posted by Colleen @ 6:17 AM 2 comments

Caffeine withdrawals!!!

Several weeks ago, when I (we-Anna, Steph, Leslie, & I) went camping, I experienced a terrible head and neck ache. I'm a coffee drinker & I was drinking less than normal to not at all. Steph suggested it might be due to a need for caffeine. Her perscription? Drink some coffee Colleen.

You were right Steph. I thought about what you said over the next couple of weeks. Then the LORD led me to fast - fast from salt, sugar, and caffeine, one week at a time. Because I was still in school at the time, I decided to first fast from salt, then sugar, then the caffeine (so I'd be done with my semester before going off the caffeine). No problem until the caffeine fast.

That first day I started experiencing headaches. The next day, I not only had a headache, but my back and muscles ached too. I had a really weird experience. I stretched my back and it felt like something (fluid?blood?) travelled up my spine, into my head, and made my head feel like it momentarily expanded then went back to shape and my vision temporarily blurred - headrush. Over the week, I had to take frequent naps to keep the aches manageable (thank God for breaks and lunches!!!) and I popped painkillers as often as I could.

I looked up caffeine withdrawals and found out this:
Drinking caffeine regularly reduced my sensitivity to it. When I reduced my caffeine intake, my body became oversensitive to adenosine. Because of this oversensitivity, my blood pressure dropped dramatically, causing an excess of blood in my head, leading to a headache. See What are the symptoms of caffeine withdrawal?. The article doesn't say why my back and muscles ached. Maybe something similar was going on throughout my muscular system.

I never really realized how much I've been drinking. I used to only have two cups of coffee in the morning. But gradually over time, I would occasionally have some coffee during the day or in the evening. I also began drinking tea over the course of the day. It all adds up and I now know I've been taking in alot more caffeine than I had thought.

I decided to keep on the fast until the headaches were gone. This morning I had my first cup of caffeine (coffee). On my way to work I started on cup number two but part way through it I started feeling funny & kind of jittery. I stopped drinking it and poured the rest out at work. It's been a long time since that little caffeine could affect me so much. I think I need to get some decaf tea & coffee for drinking during the day, saving the potent stuff for when I first get up. (How I enjoy that hot cup of java first thing in the morning!)

By the way, check out this link to the Michigan Irish Music Festival if you'd like to see all that'll be going on. Maybe I'll enter that limerick contest!

posted by Colleen @ 4:27 PM 5 comments

Belonging

Group belonging. Unity.

I've been seeking this all my life but have only experienced it temporarily twice. I think I crave group belonging because I grew up in a large family (big group) but it always seemed to me I was on the outside looking in.

The first time I experienced real belonging was when I was in third grade. We'd just moved and I had started in a new school. One girl, Tina, befriended me. She belonged to a group of about 8 girls. Eventually she became my advocate and mediator to the group, working for my inclusion. I remember the girls having to conference over it - then they said yes, I was in! I hung out with them the rest of the school year. Then it ended. The next year my parents decided to switch me to another elementary school in the same district. My belonging ended.

The other time I experienced belonging of all things was when I worked as a waitress for Red Lobster in Tucson, Arizona. We all hung out together with no separation - the wait staff, bussers, cooks, prep workers, dishwashers, even management to some extent. When we worked, it flowed so smoothly. We all helped each other, covering each other and helping out where ever one was overwhelmed. Teamwork across the board. I think a good deal had to do with our general managers willingness to get into the thick of things and serve us by helping all of us in any way we needed. I felt like I belonged and was accepted, that I mattered and was important to the group and their efforts at serving our customers well. Then my sister wanted to move back to Michigan and I didn't want to stay in Tucson by myself, so I moved back here too. My experience of belonging ended there too.

I read a series as a teen called "Thomas Covenant: The Unbeliever". He became a leper and started saying something to himself alot. "Leper, outcast, unclean." It was a reflection of how he saw himself and how he perceived others to relate to him.

It sometimes feels like mine - "leper, outcast, unclean" - when I feel like I don't belong. In the Bible we're told that lepers couldn't be touched. Lepers couldn't live in the city (community), but had to live outside its walls. Living on the outside looking in longingly, desiring to belong and be included. This is how I see being on the outside of a group, not belonging.

There are people who build walls and don't let "lepers" in - keeping them at a distance, like the walls around a city. There are also those who make sure the "leper" gets out and/or stays out of the city by casting stones and shunning them. This too happens in groups, whether the group as a whole does this or individuals withing the group do this to a "leper". (Don't think I'm above doing this - I too have been guilty of being both a wall builder and a stone thrower. I only hope that I'll do this less and less with time by God's grace.)

I pray with Jesus that "we may all be one". I don't know if there'll be any belonging that's more than temporary until Christ returns. I hope so - but if not I'll just have to wait. Until then I will probably still find myself on occasion saying to myself "leper, outcast, unclean". I will also occasionally find myself within the beauty of belonging.

Note:
After speaking with a friend of mine, I wanted to add that being in a group ALL the time isn't healthy - we need balance. One-on-one time is also needed and hungered for because a person can't develop deeper relationships in a group setting, not like we can in a one-on-one relationship. Balance. :)

posted by Colleen @ 4:39 PM 4 comments