hmmmm

Friend? Brother? Soul-mate?

Friend, brother, soul-mate - what does it all mean?

Aquaintence
Friend
Good friend
Best friend
Sister-brother
Soul-mate

These are the levels of relationships as I know it. But the question is, how do I define these? I'll start from the top and work my way down.

Aquaintence

An aquaintence is someone I know but only nominally. By that I mean I only know what's on the outside, what I can see. I say hello and chat about the weather but I don't know them much better than that. I have some aquaintences, as I know you do as well, and some I'd like to get to know better - become friends.

Friend

A friend I know better than an aquaintence. I'd know some of your likes and dislikes, find I have some things in common with you, and spend some time with you.


Good friend

A good friend is one you trust to reveal more of yourself to. At this point, you begin to make yourself vulnerable to the other person, and they do the same with you. Also, some of my (your) less than sterling qualities begin to be evident, but I trust you to accept me anyway.


Best friend

A best friend knows your secrets. They don't judge or criticize you, but are willing to point out things to you that you might not like - because it'll help you grow. They know you won't shut them out for it. They are your shoulder to cry on and encourage you when you're down. You're comfortable being yourself with them. (And visa-versa, of course.)


Sister-brother

I think of my natural siblings to define sister-brother relationships. Sisters and brothers are sisters and brothers no matter what happens. They may not even LIKE each other but they remain brother and sister. (Not that I dislike any of my natural brothers and sisters, although I do get frustrated with them sometimes.) We can be ourselves without fear of rejection. We feel free to discuss what's going on in each others lives and work out what's the best course of action. We can hold each other accountable. We are there for each other through everything. (Note all the "we" in there?) Within the body of Christ, we're called to this with each other - brothers and sisters in Christ - lots of "one another"ing.


Soul-mate

This reminds me of David and Johnathan in the Bible. The Bible says "their souls were knit together". Some think of soul-mates as prospective husband or wife but a soul-mate can be between two men or two women. Soul-mate doesn't have to do with eros love, which is erotic love , but has to do with agape love, which is sacrificial, put the other person first, love.

Johnathan's father Saul was king of Israel at the time. Johnathan met David after David killed the giant Goliath. It was at this time their souls were knit together. Later, the Scriptures reveal that Johnathan knew that GOD was going to make David king, even though by bloodline Johnathan would be king. Because Johnathan loved David, his soul-mate, he gave David what he was wearing - his robe and tunic, even his sword, bow, and belt - in effect, putting David in his own place as heir to the throne. This is sacrificial love. This is the essence of soul-mate.

If we accept what Jesus did for us on the cross, His sacrificial giving of Himself for our sins (the wickedness and evil in our hearts, mouths, and deeds) and turn from our sins, then He becomes our soul-mate. In Jesus' heart we're His soul-mate, because He gave all He had sacrificially for us. "No greater love has a man than this, that he lay down his life for his friend." This is very true seeing He sends His Holy Spirit to live in us. "There is one who's closer than a brother."

An interesting note:

The Bible calls husbands to agape love their wives, to love them sacrificially, putting them before themselves. Nowhere does the Bible call wives to agape love their husbands, but to phileo love them, which is to love them with brotherly love. To balance this, all of GOD's children are called to agape love each other - no matter what their relationship to each other is.

I still have much room to grow here, as we all do. I'm thankful the LORD keeps growing me into the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ. Blessings and may your friendships keep growing, becoming fuller and richer day by day.

posted by Colleen @ 6:47 AM