hmmmm

Long time

2009-12-07T22:27:00.002-05:00

Well it's been awhile since I last posted. A couple years in fact. That last post with the UM picture? I go thru that building now regularly because I attend UM at this time. It's been tough but rewarding. I'm enjoying living on my own. I'm learning new things and making new friends. I don't know where this road will take me but I'm going to follow it as far as it'll go.

University of Michigan

2007-11-15T20:48:00.000-05:00

North Campus - I can't remember which building.

Last weekend I had an opportunity to visit the University of Michigan. I had planned on transfering to Michigan Tech but decided to broaden my horizons and not put all my eggs in one basket.

Friday I went with others from the community college for a campus visit. We toured the Central Campus, listened to people from various colleges (ie. arts & literature, engineering, etc.). I spoke with the transfer admissions and financial aid counselors, among others. I was a little overwhelmed by the size of the campus. It's located in downtown Ann Arbor and most of the buildings were older classical architecture. It's definitely an old school (est. 1841 with 6 students). Those from the community college returned but I stayed the night for Tech Day.

I found out three days before going to U of M that the North Campus which houses the engineering and architectural schools was hosting "Tech Day" that Saturday. This was the best part of my visit.

We actually toured the civil engineering department and I walked through some of their labs. I was able to speak with other students (one a civil engineer senior) about what it was like to go to school there and what advice they had for us. I almost had an opportunity to speak with an advisor in the civil engineering department but due to a mix-up, it didn't happen.

They had tables set up from the various societies and clubs available to join if we enroll there. I liked the civil engineering table - they gave away object lessons on protecting ground water from contaminates with ice (rock), sprite (groundwater), ice cream (clay layer), chocolate pieces (dirt), and food coloring (contaminate) - what a delicious lesson!!! I spoke with students in naval architecture and those working on a mars rover.

The campus is large but most of the buildings are newer (except the inside of the civil engineering building but they're working on that! :)

North campus is located just outside Ann Arbor and the setting is more country with trees and rolling hills. There's also sculptures and reflection pools with fountains. Beautiful.

Michigan Tech is getting a run for their money. I still hope to visit MT yet this year or perhaps next summer, I'm not sure yet. I'd like to go in the winter to check out how cold it gets (and maybe fit in some downhill skiing :)!

To go to U of M I have to finish my math & physics courses first which means transfering fall of 2009. MT will accept me whenever I'd like to transfer. U of M is closer and warmer. MT is cheaper and has alot of natural beauty. Decisions, decisions.

Ohh, I forget to mention, one of the students who showed us around is a freshman aerospace engineer - and he looked just like Napolean Dynamite! Sorry, I don't have a pic. :(

Zipline

2007-11-03T12:22:00.000-05:00

Hey, check out "My Photo Album" to see some pics of my zipline adventure! (Click link below my profile pic.)

Mosaic & acorns

2007-09-30T14:30:00.000-05:00

Remember last year (maybe not) when I said I'd post the mosaic I made at my sister's? Well here it is.

I've got my eye on you!

Saturday I did some yardwork. Do you know much about oaks and acorns? I raked just a small section of the yard under two oak trees. It's a good year for acorns on that particular type of oak! (I'm not sure which kind it is.) See photos below:

Some leaves, grass, & moss but mostly acorns!

The area you see in front of the fence to just this side of the trees is the only area I raked. The pile on the 4' x 6' tarp is about a foot high and almost all acorns. Heavy too, I'd say 50 lbs. or more. And the acorns are still falling! I heard that a lot of acorns means a hard winter. Is that true or not? It also seems that we have a heavy acorn crop about every other year. All I know is I have to rake them up! Some deer and squirrels will have some easy pickings from my acorn pile in the woods :)

Oh, and schools going ok. First test of the semester in Calculus Wednesday. Then only two more tests in that class to go! (Did anyone ever tell you drafting is fun? Well it is!!!)

Whata summa!

2007-08-21T09:03:00.000-05:00

Summer's almost over - but not over yet!

Some highlights -

Camping in June at Lake Michigan:

It was early June & chilly at night! But fun none-the-less. :)

Indoor rock climbing:

At one time I "peeled" (fell) off the wall. I was holding onto a tiny rock & while looking for my next handhold, my fingers couldn't take it anymore. I said to Jamie "I'm falling, catch me, here I go!" Yeah!!! She caught me! The person holding the other end of that rope sure has an important job - Jamie did great!

Camping at the old farm:

I went camping here around the 4th of July. At one point while reading under the pavilion (the first picture's vantage point) a buck still in velvet (at least a 6-point) and a doe meandered through this field while I surreptitiously watched. So cool. So peaceful & restful.

My outhouse without a house tucked in the blue spruce. Not bad unless the bugs are biting! ;D

I'm on vacation right now but just taking it easy, doing a whole lot of nothing. I may do more later in the week. Right now the weather is cool and wet which says "kick back & chill" - so I think I will.

Just how many me's are there in the US?

2007-02-03T18:03:00.000-05:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are:
46
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

The Wall by Kansas

2007-01-13T16:38:00.000-05:00

I'm woven in a fantasy, I can't believe the things I see
The path that I have chosen now has led me to a wall
And with each passing day I feel a little more like something dear
was lost
It rises now before me, a dark and silent barrier between,
All I am, and all that I would ever want to be
It's just a travesty, towering, marking off the boundaries my spirit
would erase

To pass beyond is what I seek, I fear that I may be too weak
And those are few who've seen it through to glimpse the other side,
The promised land is waiting like a maiden that is soon to be a bride
The moment is a masterpiece, the weight of indecision's in the air
It's standing there, the symbol and the sum of all that's me
It's just a travesty, towering, blocking out the light and blinding me
I want to see

Gold and diamonds cast a spell, it's not for me I know it well
The treasures that I seek are waiting on the other side
There's more than I can measure in the treasure of the love that I can find
And though it's always been with me, I must tear down the wall
and let it be
All I am, and all that I was ever meant to be, in harmony
Shining true and smiling back at all who wait to cross
There is no loss

Limmerick

2007-01-11T21:18:00.000-05:00

There once was a man from Japan,
Who moved all the way to Iran.
Then he said "Oh, no!
The bomb's gonna blow!"
And sped his way back home again.

Computer woes

2006-12-27T22:21:00.000-05:00

It happened almost a month ago. It began innocently enough. I have kodak software and opted for the automatic updater...big mistake. The software popped up stating there was an update and do I want to update it.
I said yes :(
After it updated, it wanted to update the catalog files.
I said yes :(
From that point on, the computer takes almost forever (I'm only exaggerating a little!) to boot up.

That's not the end of the woes. Sigh. Sometimes the attempt at a cure can make things worse.

I didn't realize the problem was the updated software at the time because about the same time I found a suspicious looking file on the computer. So... I went online and got spyware and registry cleaner software off the internet (shareware) to try to fix the problem. Not a good idea when you don't know what you are doing. I ran both and I removed what they found without knowing what I was removing.

Guess what happened? You guessed it, my boot-up problem didn't change and I made more problems for myself. I found out my microsoft programs now can't be updated because I'm missing some necessary temporary files (I did find I can re-obtain these from microsoft though, they're the ones who checked my computer over the internet and found the problem.) I've also recently discovered that I can't put comments on chatterboxes from this computer either. (I assume also missing files are the culprit.) So friends, I've wanted to put comments in your chatterboxes but unless I go to work, I can't until I figure out this computer mess.

I've been told to just re-format and start over. Wonderful idea but one problem. I neglected to make an emergency start-up disc with all the programs that came with the computer when we first got the computer. If I reformatted, I would either have to copy and reload what I have now, which of course would be dumb because I'd have the same problems, or obtain a new operating system sans office programs. So, for now, I'll try to keep muddling through.

Perhaps oggix can tell me what I'm missing and supply it for me so I can put comments on chatterboxes? I still need to fix the boot problem too. I tried uninstalling the kodak software but the boot is still veeerrrrryyy slow. If anyone has any ideas, I'm open to them, so long as my woes don't increase by them! Until then, please be patient with us (me & the computer that is!).

It's done.

2006-12-14T20:50:00.000-05:00

The semester. It's done.

I'm free for almost three weeks.

One of those weeks I also don't work.

Woohoo!

A blessing on my way home tonight from my last final -

I saw the northern lights for the first time.

They are soooo beautiful - a gift.

The LORD is so creative in the beauty He shows us.

I'm blessed.

2006-11-25T10:21:00.000-05:00

I AM NOT ALONE!

I AM LOVED BY GOD -
FATHER, SON, & HOLY SPIRIT!

THANK YOU GOD FOR LOVING ME ENOUGH TO SEND YOUR SON TO DIE FOR ME.

THANK YOU JESUS FOR LOVING ME ENOUGH TO DIE FOR ME.

THANK YOU HOLY SPIRIT FOR INDWELLING ME, BEING MY COMFORTER AND LEADING ME INTO ALL TRUTH.

I AM LOVED!

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen...

2006-11-24T12:39:00.000-05:00

EMPTY

Empty,
unattached and uninvolved.
Sanity is slipping when the soul is empty.

Is my emptiness showing?
Can all tell I'm alone?

Wishes and dreams
Are figments of the imagination
Which lie heavy on the empty ones.

Courage flattened
By obstacles larger than life.

Push on, push on,
No choice but push on.

DARKNESS

Darkness rises from the depths.
Worthless is everything
When hopes and dreams fade out of touch.
Give me a stairway to leave these
Images of night behind;
Yield to me a torch to drive back
This frozen blackness engulfing me.

Grey now colors all thought and motion.
Please...
I must find the sunniness forgotten in this waste.
I'm too weak from these hellish shadows
To dig out of this funnelled pit of emptiness.
Grasp my clutching hand reaching out of my loneliness...
Pull me out of nightmares
Of chill silence and death.

Your humanity and strength
Seeps energy into these stiff limbs
And leads lost wandering thoughts to new life purpose;
Follow your actions, help those lost to life
Find their way back to their hopes and dreams
To continue their growth and fruition.

(Poems by Colleen Walsh)

...nobody knows but Jesus...

I still struggle with depression. He knows.

Lord, heal us!

2006-11-08T07:26:00.000-05:00

It's been a bad week healthwise. Me, I'm OK.

My math teacher will be out all week, sick.

Anna's Chris has been dealing with health troubles.
*Update: He's recovering!

My Mom is just getting over a bad bout of the flu.
*Update: She's back to normal!

My Dad's in the hospital after heart related problems, today will get tests.
*Update: He's home and doing well!

My first prayer is those who don't know the LORD would be saved, then no matter what happens here, they will be assured of a home in heaven when the time comes.

My next prayer is healing. Lord, heal hearts, minds, and bodies. My heart aches for these who are suffering. Thank you Lord that you hear our prayers.

*Praise God for answered prayers!

It's creeping up on me...

2006-10-30T18:23:00.000-05:00

I just had a birthday and I don't want to get older!!! Somebody press the STOP button!!! . . . ok, maybe the SLOWDOWN button.

Alright, so I have a few gray hairs. So my face no longer has the post-teen peachy glow. So my joints sometimes protest to me.

Today I got fitted for my first pair of O-O glasses :( (And to think I used to be PROUD of how well I could see!) Not a big problem, it's just that little letters and numbers can be kinda fuzzy now. I got a math problem wrong a couple weeks ago because instead of reading the problem as having a 350 in it, I thought it said 550. Time for glasses.

I really don't feel that old, it's just these signs of growing older are >>>pushing themselves in my face. Makes me feel funny inside.

I'll get the glasses, be thankful that I don't have to color my hair yet, and be thankful that I'm still quite active, and not too w~r~i~n~k~l~y. I already have my solution for wrinkles . . . I'll pull my skin back to my hairline, tape it there with scotch tape, then get a good laugh at people's reaction when the tape lets loose and my face goes instantly from grape to raisin :D. I guess you're all forwarned but I'm pretty sure you'll forget by the time I try it. :))

Guatemalan Travels

2006-10-07T21:31:00.000-05:00

PURPOSE:

This little girl and my sister in the picture. Cindy was adopting Gabrielle (her Guatemalan name was Flor which means flower) and we were there to finalize the adoption and bring Gabby home. She's a sweety and when she's happy makes sounds like a little bird. Welcome home Gabrielle.

THE ORPHANAGE:

Yes, this is the orphanage. It's in a spanish style villa and this garden is surrounded by three wings having two levels (the door behind us to the right leads into the apartment where we stayed). On the fourth side is the parking area and beyond that some outdoor play areas for the kids - some area dirt, some area paved, and some area grassy with a large tree, all enclosed by a solid 6' high wall. There's many kids from infant to pre-teen there with several nannies at any given time to care for the kids. The food isn't like mexican food - they eat a variety such as: spaghetti, hot dogs, omelets, fried chicken, rice, veggies, lots of fruit and smoothies, along with sometimes tortillas, black beans, and salsa.

ANTIGUA AND IT'S PEOPLE:

The background is a mountainside and the town is Antigua near where we stayed. The narrow streets are cobblestone with narrow sidewalks. This town has a definite spanish flavor to the architecture, similar to the orphanage where we stayed, central plazas and all. It's very colorful. It's also an odd combination of old and new. I felt like I stepped back in time yet there's at least four businesses offering internet access with their computers and both McDonalds and Burger King are there (in the old buildings, of course!) The people are friendly and dressed from traditional guatemalan to the latest styles. (It seemed odd to see a lady in traditional guatemalan dress walking down the street talking on a cell phone!) On the weekend, Antigua is flooded with college kids and tourists from many different countries.

2006-10-07T20:43:00.000-05:00

THE MARKET:

Guatemala has some characteristic marketable items. Around Antigua are several coffee plantations which sell their produce. There's also artisians in the area of hand woven and embroidered textiles, wood carving, and jewelery making. Jade is one of the principle precious stones found here.

RELAXING TIME:

I think it was Sunday afternoon. In front of this old Catholic Church, some of the church children along with a few adults played this large xylophone (9 people played it at the same time). It's right across from Central Park, which unlike locally, is normally filled with people talking and relaxing.

TIKAL RUINS:

The Tikal ruins are located in northern Guatemala (we took a day trip there including an hour round trip flight and two shuttles each way). I didn't get to see them myself (my Mom got sick so we went back to the main plaza/museum area before I saw anything), but my sister Sue did and got this picture for me. This is one of many old mayan temples here. You can't see from this picture because it's too small, but at the top of the stairway seated before the door are a couple people, just so you know how big this thing is. On the way there and back along the roads, people and animals move about freely. We almost ran into a mare nursing a foal, a dog, and a pig, all roaming on or across the road. Such a slower pace there than here.

PACAYA VOLCANO:

Our last tour before going home - a volcano. As you can see by the picture, this flow is quite recent and still cooling. We're still quite a ways from the cone, we'd get cooked if we got too close. Even where we were, it could be quite hot and we had to be careful of our footing - volcanic rock is light and can be fragile when thin and walked on. It's also sharp to the touch. Our guide used this stick to pull some molten lava out (it was like a thick, hot, melty marshmallow but glowing red and larger in amount) then began pulling at it with a stick to form it (my sister said it looked like a teddy bear). He then poured some of his bottled water on it to cool it. When it was cool enough, he carried it with him. He was going to give it to one of us as a souvenier but after sitting down for a rest, when we got going again he forgot it behind. Oh, well, he tried.

All in all, it was an unusual and interesting trip. I sure was glad to be back in the states where the main language is english. I don't speak much spanish and got by with a few words with much gesturing. It's tough work communicating when you don't know the language. Now we're home safe and sound with Gabrielle, my new niece. Welcome to the USA Gabrielle!

Guatemala

2006-09-22T06:09:00.000-05:00

The news came yesterday...I leave for Guatemala Wednesday morning at 6 AM and I'll be back the following Wednesday.

For anyone who doesn't know, my sister Cindy is adopting a little girl from a Guatemalan orphanage and we (my Mother, sister Sue, and I) will be going with her to get Gabrielle. I'm looking forward to it. I've only been out of the country as far as the border of Canada and the border of Mexico, so this will be a new experience for me. This orphanage has an apartment on the premises for those adopting, so we will be staying there. I'm interesting in seeing the children and how the orphange is run, and we will also do some sightseeing. I will post more on Guatemala when I return (with pictures!).

For now, I'm focused on getting done everything that must be done before I go. One little twist is school. I'm going to attend a Tuesday nite class to replace the Thursday nite class I'd miss otherwise. I will have a test in both my classes the day after I return which brings a little bit of stress. So, I want to get as much of my schoolwork done as possible before I go. (I don't want to spend all my time down there doing homework!) I will have to do some of my math and study for both tests while in Guatemala. Lord willing, it will all work out.

I missed the Irish Music Festival and was too late to send in my limerick, so I'll share it with you.

There once was a man from Japan,
Who moved all the way to Iran.
Then he said "Oh, no!
The bombs gonna blow!"
And sped his way back home again.

Have a great weekend everybody!

Depth of Character

2006-09-12T06:20:00.000-05:00

What is depth of character?

I've been watching LOST and something strikes me about the people on the show...many are becoming less 2-dimensional and more 3-dimensional. Their characters are developing, good or bad.

I looked up "character" in the dictionary. One meaning is: moral strength. That lead me to look up "moral", which has to do with knowing right from wrong. Thinking about it, our character is formed by the choices we make, right or wrong, when faced with difficult situations.

I see this in LOST, their backgrounds and the choices they made in the situations they were in. I feel differing emotions based on what they've went through and their choices, like sympathy or pity, frustration or anger. I also find myself putting me in their position, empathizing.

Then I see them in their present situation, facing difficulties, dangers, and themselves. "Many in the valley of decision." Seeing their backgrounds and choices they made in the past, will they make choices consistent with their past or will they step above it and make better choices? Or step lower and make worse?

Only watching more episodes will tell for LOST.

Only the outcome of our lives will tell for us.

How do you know the external world exists? My musings.

2006-09-09T16:51:00.000-05:00

First, I have not researched this topic or what the philosophers views are on this. I have heard of this philosophical question, around 10 years ago. Taking the question at face value, I pondered.

First, why would one ask this question? What are they really asking? It sounds to me like: Can we believe what our senses and those of our machines and science percieves? Or is it all a figment of our imaginations and we're all really floating thoughts, making it all up?

I think of God first. Do these philosophers believe in God? If yes, then fine. What if they don't? What they're saying is I don't believe in God because my senses, machines, and science don't perceive God. In saying this they are saying they don't really believe their own philosophies. The philosophy is we can't believe our senses but saying I don't believe in God because I can't sense God says I believe my senses rather than the possibility of anything outside my senses. Hypocrisy.

On to other things.

I know that some people can't see. They are without the sense of sight. If I see something and they don't, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, rather that the blind person lacks the sense to perceive what exists.

What about when two people are at the same event, side by side, and if you ask each person to say what they experienced, it's different. Why? Is it because each was in a different dimension so saw a different event? I don't think so. Each second, billions (if not more, even much more) of bits of information enter our brain through our senses but our brain lacks the capacity to process all of it. So we make billions of conscious and unconscious decisions of what info is a keeper and what will be trashed. Two people will keep/trash different information at the same event. Not only that but we have varying backgrounds and experiences which causes us to interpret the very same information differently. Because of this, each person will have a different experience. If the experiences differ does it mean the event never happened? No. The event is true. Does the experience of one invalidate the experience of the other? No, rather the experiences put together are more apt to be accurate than one alone.

One critical thing here - sometimes we trash very important information key to correctly interpreting our experiences, like a colorblind person who because of their inability to receive the color signals would see the event as black and white. Our backgrounds and experiences can also tip our perception into misinterpreting events to where we believe what isn't true and put a spin on an event that doesn't exist.

If we perceive differently, the event still happened. If we perceive similarly, perhaps we kept nearly the same info and have similar backgrounds and experiences, and the event still happened. In my estimation, the external world exists, our senses are working fine. But on the other hand, just because we don't sense something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Instead perhaps we just lack the ability to sense and perceive it like the blind person mentioned earlier.

God cannot be perceived by our senses - only by our faith.

Does the external world exist? I say yes. To say no is to deny existence since we cannot separate ourselves from our senses. I've heard of sensory deprivation tanks. I think the brain deals with this through bringing up what was sensed before, like a dream.

We are who we are, and what is, is.

Heaven & Earth

2006-08-25T06:17:00.000-05:00

Heaven will be where there's no more sickness, death, pain, or suffering. There will be no sin there, everyone will treat each other with kindness, gentleness, and love. No more separation and loneliness. The way God meant it to be in the beginning.

Earth has disease and death, hate and strife, selfishness, pain, and sufferering. I hurt you & you hurt me, whether intentionally or not.

I long to be home in heaven. Sometimes I ask God to take me home. This life is so hard and it hurts so much. I hope and believe for the heaven I described above because that's God's promise for those who believe in His son, Jesus Christ. I have trouble with what to hope and believe for here. God's promises aren't as clear here and God warns us that we'll have trouble, that we'll suffer and have hardships. I asked God to help me here this morning.

He brought to mind some people I know and myself. He gave me three examples - sports, math, and art.

Exercise:
A person out of shape has no real interest in exercising & sports- it's too hard and painful. It's a lot of work. The thing is though, that if that person perserveres and doesn't give up, it will get easier and easier - even to the point where that person will begin to enjoy it and want to participate in sports.

Math:
Same thing. A person who has difficulty understanding math will want to quit, give up, and just not do it. If that person keeps trying and perservering, eventually he/she will understand and have victory over it. The fear will disappear and it'll be no problem after that.

Art:
A person who's no good at art, has an idea of what he/she wants in his/her head but just can't get the hands to obey, has no interest in making works of art. (Me) But...if I keep trying, keep working at it, eventually my hands will be trained to where they'll obey my mind and I'd enjoy making works of art.

What does all this have to do with heaven and earth? We are sinful now and it's just easier to follow the flesh and give in to temptation. Being all God asks us to be is hard and can be painful, especially since we are in a world with other sinful people who have free will, just like us. In heaven we're called to be loving and kind. I thought that why not go to heaven now since God's going to instantaniously change me? It's about attitudes. God will instantaniously change me to be a sinless being. But think about it - at one time Satan was a sinless being, as was Adam and Eve. Attitude. This living out on earth will train us to want and enjoy the sinless life. If we didn't live out the difficulties, when we're made sinless, would we want to act as God desires us to? Would it seem easier to just do what we want?

Trials/tests:
Back to sports, math, and art. In sports, there's trials. I'm not referring to the trials that say whether you're "in" or not but the trials for those who are already "in". What are they meant to do? Not to boot you out but to see how you're doing and where you need improvement. Math tests? Same thing - how are you doing? where do you need more work? Art? Ditto. Then where we didn't do so well, we get more exercises, more problems, more practice. Then guess what? Test again. Even after we pass the test, we may be retested to see what we've retained, like a midterm exam and final exam. The best way to keep on top is to continue to practice and USE what we've learned regularly.

Back to heaven and earth. If we practice on earth what we'll be doing in heaven, we will have an attitude when we get to heaven that'll keep us close to God.

Caffeine withdrawals!!!

2006-08-23T16:27:00.000-05:00

Several weeks ago, when I (we-Anna, Steph, Leslie, & I) went camping, I experienced a terrible head and neck ache. I'm a coffee drinker & I was drinking less than normal to not at all. Steph suggested it might be due to a need for caffeine. Her perscription? Drink some coffee Colleen.

You were right Steph. I thought about what you said over the next couple of weeks. Then the LORD led me to fast - fast from salt, sugar, and caffeine, one week at a time. Because I was still in school at the time, I decided to first fast from salt, then sugar, then the caffeine (so I'd be done with my semester before going off the caffeine). No problem until the caffeine fast.

That first day I started experiencing headaches. The next day, I not only had a headache, but my back and muscles ached too. I had a really weird experience. I stretched my back and it felt like something (fluid?blood?) travelled up my spine, into my head, and made my head feel like it momentarily expanded then went back to shape and my vision temporarily blurred - headrush. Over the week, I had to take frequent naps to keep the aches manageable (thank God for breaks and lunches!!!) and I popped painkillers as often as I could.

I looked up caffeine withdrawals and found out this:
Drinking caffeine regularly reduced my sensitivity to it. When I reduced my caffeine intake, my body became oversensitive to adenosine. Because of this oversensitivity, my blood pressure dropped dramatically, causing an excess of blood in my head, leading to a headache. See What are the symptoms of caffeine withdrawal?. The article doesn't say why my back and muscles ached. Maybe something similar was going on throughout my muscular system.

I never really realized how much I've been drinking. I used to only have two cups of coffee in the morning. But gradually over time, I would occasionally have some coffee during the day or in the evening. I also began drinking tea over the course of the day. It all adds up and I now know I've been taking in alot more caffeine than I had thought.

I decided to keep on the fast until the headaches were gone. This morning I had my first cup of caffeine (coffee). On my way to work I started on cup number two but part way through it I started feeling funny & kind of jittery. I stopped drinking it and poured the rest out at work. It's been a long time since that little caffeine could affect me so much. I think I need to get some decaf tea & coffee for drinking during the day, saving the potent stuff for when I first get up. (How I enjoy that hot cup of java first thing in the morning!)

By the way, check out this link to the Michigan Irish Music Festival if you'd like to see all that'll be going on. Maybe I'll enter that limerick contest!

Belonging

2006-08-03T16:39:00.000-05:00

Group belonging. Unity.

I've been seeking this all my life but have only experienced it temporarily twice. I think I crave group belonging because I grew up in a large family (big group) but it always seemed to me I was on the outside looking in.

The first time I experienced real belonging was when I was in third grade. We'd just moved and I had started in a new school. One girl, Tina, befriended me. She belonged to a group of about 8 girls. Eventually she became my advocate and mediator to the group, working for my inclusion. I remember the girls having to conference over it - then they said yes, I was in! I hung out with them the rest of the school year. Then it ended. The next year my parents decided to switch me to another elementary school in the same district. My belonging ended.

The other time I experienced belonging of all things was when I worked as a waitress for Red Lobster in Tucson, Arizona. We all hung out together with no separation - the wait staff, bussers, cooks, prep workers, dishwashers, even management to some extent. When we worked, it flowed so smoothly. We all helped each other, covering each other and helping out where ever one was overwhelmed. Teamwork across the board. I think a good deal had to do with our general managers willingness to get into the thick of things and serve us by helping all of us in any way we needed. I felt like I belonged and was accepted, that I mattered and was important to the group and their efforts at serving our customers well. Then my sister wanted to move back to Michigan and I didn't want to stay in Tucson by myself, so I moved back here too. My experience of belonging ended there too.

I read a series as a teen called "Thomas Covenant: The Unbeliever". He became a leper and started saying something to himself alot. "Leper, outcast, unclean." It was a reflection of how he saw himself and how he perceived others to relate to him.

It sometimes feels like mine - "leper, outcast, unclean" - when I feel like I don't belong. In the Bible we're told that lepers couldn't be touched. Lepers couldn't live in the city (community), but had to live outside its walls. Living on the outside looking in longingly, desiring to belong and be included. This is how I see being on the outside of a group, not belonging.

There are people who build walls and don't let "lepers" in - keeping them at a distance, like the walls around a city. There are also those who make sure the "leper" gets out and/or stays out of the city by casting stones and shunning them. This too happens in groups, whether the group as a whole does this or individuals withing the group do this to a "leper". (Don't think I'm above doing this - I too have been guilty of being both a wall builder and a stone thrower. I only hope that I'll do this less and less with time by God's grace.)

I pray with Jesus that "we may all be one". I don't know if there'll be any belonging that's more than temporary until Christ returns. I hope so - but if not I'll just have to wait. Until then I will probably still find myself on occasion saying to myself "leper, outcast, unclean". I will also occasionally find myself within the beauty of belonging.

Note:
After speaking with a friend of mine, I wanted to add that being in a group ALL the time isn't healthy - we need balance. One-on-one time is also needed and hungered for because a person can't develop deeper relationships in a group setting, not like we can in a one-on-one relationship. Balance. :)

For Your Enrichment (and FUN!)

2006-07-21T18:18:00.000-05:00

Contentment
by Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Man wants but little here below."

LITTLE I ask; my wants are few;
I only wish a hut of stone,
(A very plain brown stone will do,)
That I may call my own;
And close at hand is such a one,
In yonder street that fronts the sun.

Plain food is quite enough for me;
Three courses are as good as ten;--
If Nature can subsist on three,
Thank Heaven for three. Amen!
I always thought cold victual nice;--
My choice would be vanilla-ice.

I care not much for gold or land;--
Give me a mortgage here and there,--
Some good bank-stock, some note of hand,
Or trifling railroad share,--
I only ask that Fortune send
A little more than I shall spend.

Honors are silly toys, I know,
And titles are but empty names;
I would, perhaps, be Plenipo,--
But only near St. James;
I'm very sure I should not care
To fill our Gubernator's chair.

Jewels are baubles; 't is a sin
To care for such unfruitful things;--
One good-sized diamond in a pin,--
Some, not so large, in rings,--
A ruby, and a pearl, or so,
Will do for me;--I laugh at show.

My dame should dress in cheap attire;
(Good, heavy silks are never dear;) -
I own perhaps I might desire
Some shawls of true Cashmere,--
Some marrowy crapes of China silk,
Like wrinkled skins on scalded milk.

I would not have the horse I drive
So fast that folks must stop and stare;
An easy gait--two forty-five--
Suits me; I do not care;--
Perhaps, for just a single spurt,
Some seconds less would do no hurt.

Of pictures, I should like to own
Titians aud Raphaels three or four,--
I love so much their style and tone,
One Turner, and no more,
(A landscape,--foreground golden dirt,--
The sunshine painted with a squirt.)

Of books but few,--some fifty score
For daily use, and bound for wear;
The rest upon an upper floor;--
Some little luxury there
Of red morocco's gilded gleam
And vellum rich as country cream.

Busts, cameos, gems,--such things as these,
Which others often show for pride,
I value for their power to please,
And selfish churls deride;--
One Stradivarius, I confess,
Two Meerschaums, I would fain possess.

Wealth's wasteful tricks I will not learn,
Nor ape the glittering upstart fool;--
Shall not carved tables serve my turn,
But all must be of buhl?
Give grasping pomp its double share,--
I ask but one recumbent chair.

Thus humble let me live and die,
Nor long for Midas' golden touch;
If Heaven more generous gifts deny,
I shall not miss them much,--
Too grateful for the blessing lent
Of simple tastes and mind content!

Questions, questions.

2006-07-12T06:27:00.000-05:00

What for you makes life worth living?

My Adventure

2006-07-08T19:12:00.000-05:00

Today was a day of adventure. I'd decided to go hiking on the trails of the farm I lived on as a kid. The place has changed quite a bit but underneath I can still see the framework of what I remembered.

I began by parking at the entrance to a field just off the road. As I walked through the field, I spooked a hen turkey and some grouse from the underbrush/trees along the road. Then a tom flew out from one of the trees. I knew I was probably scaring them, since I could hear them keeping ahead of me in the brush. Then the tom came out of the brush, running through the field to the creekbottom area. I believe he was trying to lure me away from the hen to save her. I didn't hear a peep from the hen in the underbrush. I just kept walking and looking straight ahead - to the head of the trail at the creekbottom.

The trail was quite overgrown, so I got scratched a bit from the wild roses and almost fell off the wood walk which covered the wet areas because of the tall ferns blocking my view.

I also have never walked these trails so a couple times I had to ask the LORD which way to go so I wouldn't get stuck somewhere or lost. I went by the pond which was just as I remembered it, overgrown with cattails. When I came out of the marsh, I was at the back side of the field I'd started out from.

Walking west along a two-track for a bit, I then entered a trail through a red pine forest. It really wasn't a trail, I just walked into it. I went up the gentle rise and found I was on the south side of the crescent of the big hill. As I topped the rise and looked down the other side, I saw the grassy center of the crescent. Opposite the major part of the hill on the edge of the field was a small pavillion with a picnic table and a firepit with natural benches around it. A collection of wood for burning was to one side of the pavillion.

I then moved on to climbing the sandy portion of the hill. Funny - it doesn't seem as tall as I remembered it but the climbing in the sand was the same - like climbing a sand dune. It is still quite high and I worked up a sweat getting to the top. Lovely, a bench right at the top to rest and enjoy the view. The view wasn't as impressive as I remembered because of all the trees in the way, but I could still see far off across the countryside through some gaps in the trees.

I then walked along the top of the hill to check out where we used to sled in the winter - it was so tree covered that it didn't look like much anymore. I had a lot of fun sledding down that hill!

Then I walked back along the crescent of the hill, down to the two-track leading to the pavillion, and back to the back side of the first field where I started my adventure. To my surprise, a doe appeared out of the woods and meandered across the field, grazing as she went. She was injured in her right front shoulder/leg and had an obvious limp. She seems to be getting along though. Then I walked along the two-track beside the field back to the car.

After that, I stopped at Country Dairy Deli & Store and had a wonderful nutty chocolate ice cream cone. Did you know that Country Dairy doesn't use any growth hormones on their cows? I think I'll buy their products because of that. All in all I had a great day! If you want to see a picture/story of my adventure, check it out on my picture blog - MY PHOTO ALBUM.

"Trouble with Paper Trails" revisited

2006-06-29T19:09:00.000-05:00

I have an update on my post in April called Trouble with Paper Trails (view link to refresh your memory). In essense, it was about following old paper trails in an attempt to help someone obtain a passport.

After calling around, seeking school records, locating of whereabouts on the first census after birth to obtain a census record (and the person filing for said record), checking public records, checking for any stored and hidden records within the family, and the person having an affidavit of birth filled out by an older living relative who was there about the time of birth, the person I was helping took all the information down to the county building to send it in with the application for a passport. The person at the counter said incredulously "You want to send in all this?!" The person said "All of it." And so it was sent in.

Today I received a call announcing the arrival of the passport in the mail.

Success! I thank God for answered prayers, although hard work and perserverance also helps. :D

Hope

2006-06-26T10:08:00.000-05:00

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.
Proverbs 13:12

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Psalm 27:13

I'm still hoping and fighting to believe...Lord help me.

Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!
Mark 9:24b

Suffering

2006-06-18T08:08:00.000-05:00

I've been considering suffering. My own and that of others, due to sin - both the evil committed against us and the evil we commit against others. I came to a point where I think I need to learn to endure suffering (that which I can't change - I'll change what I can), because since I sin, I can't just blame everyone else for my pain. As my Grandma says, "Remember, when you point your finger at someone, you have three more pointing back at yourself." I don't like pain. I cry out and I cry when I'm in pain. I hate hurting. I want it to go away. The LORD led me to purchase a book yesterday called "The Suffering God" by Charles Ohlrich. He gave me a revelation through it.

God himself suffers. He suffers when we sin, turning from Him, His love, and His ways to others and their ways and relying on self. In the Old Testament, we read about GOD's anger, anguish, and yearning toward His people - in His anger when the Israelites turn from Him to other gods, His anguish at their turning from Him, feeling like a jilted lover, and His compassion and yearning for reconciliation in His repeated forgiving of Israel and His unconditional love toward them. He also suffered in Christ's suffering on the cross. "God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself" 2 Corinthians 5:19a. God suffers.

We suffer when people sin against us, when this fallen world brings hurtful circumstances upon us, when we see those we love suffer (even those we don't know suffer) and can't help them, and when we see how we've inadvertently hurt others.

God made the world knowing He would suffer greatly and we would suffer as well. Why? If He knew all this suffering would come when He created the world and us, why did he go ahead and create it anyway? I don't think God's a masochist. I also don't think He's a sadist, He loves us very much. So why did He make us when He knew all this suffering would come to Himself and those He loves very much?

I think it's because there's something yet to come for God and for those who believe in Jesus Christ who God was in, reconciling us to Himself (see reference above). That something yet to come must be so marvelous that it's worth all His suffering and He knows it'll be worth it to us to endure all the suffering. I don't know what that something is, but the Bible gives some clues. "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor has it entered the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9. "The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs - heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." Romans 8:16-18, italics mine.

Considering this "marvelous something that's coming" I can't grasp it. My mathematical mind sees it as a zero in the denominator of a fraction. Maybe in higher math something can be done with that, but for where I'm at now in math, a zero in the denominator of a fraction is called "undefined" which means, we don't know what to do with it or what it means. I see the something that's coming is marvelous by what God says in the Bible but other than that I classify it as "undefined" and I'll go on trust.

I will learn to endure suffering, looking forward to the marvelous something God has promised is coming which will make all the suffering worthwhile.

Yard Sale Surprise

2006-06-03T16:17:00.000-05:00

I went yard sale shopping today. I haven't done that in a long time (I only went once I think last year). I did find a 4-piece luggage set in good shape for $15. But that wasn't the surprise.

I looked in today's paper to figure out which sales to visit. One said it had ostrich eggs for sale - that was one that would be convenient to stop at, so I did. It turned out to be quite an average sale but with the ostrich eggs...until a guy stopped in asking if he could get pictures of her ostriches. She said sure. I was ?!?!?! then remembering I had my camera in the car said ME TOO! So I grabbed my camera and followed them out to the birds.

Note: I said birds -
she also has a goose, peacocks and other birds.

While talking with her out with the birds, we found out why she has them. She started carving eggs back in 2001 and found out she really enjoys it. So now she carves all kinds of eggs, has won competitions, and has been featured in magazines as well as our local paper. When I went back into the garage to finish viewing the sale items, there on a what looked like a bench was some samples of her artwork. Beautiful. Check them out at her website Egg-Stasy Creations. She sells them starting at $35 (although I saw one on her website for $25) and price depends on egg type, design, and intricacy. You can even share your ideas and she can carve a design of your choosing.

Boy, you never know what kind of gifted people might live in your neighborhood.

Fire! Update.

2006-05-31T18:08:00.000-05:00

FYI...

An article was in the paper today about the fire on the first page of "local-state". It stated Consumers was working on that pole earlier in the day. They think the fire started by a lightening strike but my Mom didn't see any lightening (I was in an inner room at the time it first occurred and she called me out). As soon as they got the fire report, they returned right away. Apparently, 3000 people were without power, not to mention Michigan Adventure Park and Howmet. Two sub-stations blew out from it with one being restored by about 5:30PM (not ours) and the other being restored about 8:30PM (ours - my boss emailed me this morning telling me the power wasn't on yet at the shop by 7PM last night). Today, all appeared normal except a rather blackened power pole (the ground is probably crispy but I can't see that from the shop).

Fire!

2006-05-30T17:37:00.000-05:00

Fire!

(Note I e-mailed to my boss.)

We had a little fire at the base of a power pole behind the bldg next door. It happened about 3:45PM - we heard some low booms and the power flickered on and off a few times, then off. I went to call 911 but our phones run on power so I called from my trac-phone. They'd already been called and they showed up about 4:05PM. The firemen waited for Consumers to show up and the power to be shut off before working on putting out the fire. All had left by 5PM, but when I left at 5:30 we still had no power - I couldn't even vacuum up the shop. Check out the pictures.

Colleen

Ooooooo! (Doesn't look like much but the base of the power pole on the right is aflame.)

Take that!

A Day in the Life

2006-05-25T20:35:00.000-05:00

Today, like most days, are filled up. I thought I'd share a day in my life - namely, today.

Like every morning, I start with coffee, the Bible, and prayer. I'm reading Psalms right now. Some days God really speaks to me through the Bible and/or prayer. Today He spoke to me about unity, my need to praise Him, His greatness, His judgement and compassion, and the worthlessness of idols. Then I get ready for the day. I'm in a hurry this morning, so cranberry raisin toast with cream cheese eaten on the drive to school is breakfast.

I park in the back parking lot today because they're doing construction in the front where I usually park. On clear days I just carry my books, but it looks like rain so I use my bookbag and bring along an umbrella, just in case. When I get to class, I spend some time talking with others there about what we're doing in class, how we're doing, where we work, and the weekend. One girl I really feel for. Her mom had her take four classes (14 credit hours), which normally is full-time. She also works 30 hrs/wk. In spring semester, the semester is half as long as normal, so her full-time school is double time plus she works. She's not doing too well needless to say. I pray for her. When class starts at 8AM, we go over problems from homework, then a lecture on the next section, 5 min. break, then continued lecture until 10AM, homework assignment and what'll be on the test next Tuesday. I meet the girl I mentioned earlier in the ladies room on the way out (unintentionally). I comment on how glad I am of a 3-day weekend - she agrees, she needs a break. (Before class she'd said she has to work all weekend.) Then I'm out the door and on the road again.

Normally I'd be going to work from here but today I have a physical. I don't want to go, but if I go, I won't have to come back for another year, Lord willing. I meet a lady in a wheelchair helped by a man (husband? brother? friend? I don't know) when entering the ladies room there. They seem to be awkward getting in the door so I offer that if they let me in first I can hold the door for her. They're grateful. She tells me she's had surgery on her hip twice now - that's why she's in the wheelchair. She comments that they don't think of everything for those who are handicapped. Once in the bathroom everything is ok. But the door to get in and out is near impossible to manage. So I commisserate and hold the door for her on the way out. In the waiting room, I read some of my assignment for math. Then I'm called in. After the exam, I have to make an appointment for a mammogram (Did you know that after 40 they require one every year? Yuck!) While the lady makes the appt. I continue reading my math. She gives me the appt. but never consulted with me before making it, so I'll have to call the hospital myself later and re-schedule it. Later. I'm off again.

Twenty minute drive to work. Collect mail. It's 11:30AM. I get lunch (crackers and cheese, salad, hard-boiled egg, and a banana with some chocolate sneaked in during the afternoon). While eating my lunch I check email and blogs, enter bills. Mom (who's working with me while Anna's gone) discovers a problem with the parts. I ask her to backtrack the parts and I'll cut the extra material off the plastic. I fax a late invoice payment notice to a company. Then out to the shop to cut plastic. I cut material for upcoming parts, trim the parts for Mom and give them back to her, cut more plastic. In the midst, I apply red tape to some parts for my Mom, pack parts to ship, do the paperwork, and set the boxes by the door for UPS to pick up later. Off and on during this time I email my boss on some pertinent items. Finally finished cutting plastic. I had to finish it before my Mom left because I can't use the machinery with nobody else there and I'm giving her tomorrow off. It's now 4PM and my Mom leaves. I clean up the shop vacuuming everything. (Plastic dust gets EVERYWHERE so I even have to vacuum myself off!) Then I check emails and blogs one more time while counting out black wire to make lights, pulling off the extra insulation on the ends. I crimp together wires and LEDs until 5:30PM. Time to go home.

Ten minutes to home. I pick up the newspaper on the way in, looking at the headlines, then grab the mail. Once in the house, Mom did a load of wash, so I put away my clothes. I read more in math for a few minutes, then dinner's ready. Chicken breast in mushroom soup sauce, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and asparagus - a feast! Mmmmmm. After dinner, I clean off the table and put away the leftovers. Then back to math. I finish reading and start doing problems. Part-way through, my Mom's cousin Jean comes over (she lives two houses down from us) and chats with Mom. My brother Dan calls and we talk for a while about his allergies & I suggest a new allergy medicine. I ask him about this weekend (my sister is planning a Memorial Day get-together). Then I hand the phone over to my Mom, and talk with Jean awhile. My Mom hangs up and we three talk for a while. Then I head back to do more math. At 9PM I finish math - yeaaaa! I need to upgrade the operating system on my calculator. I start getting into that but I run into snags. . . I need to get new batteries and read up more on how to do it - my calc isn't doing what they say it should when downloading. Maybe I can get it tomorrow night. So at 9:45 I begin this post - it's been nearly a month since I last posted - wow!

When I finish here, I'll read a little from the Bible, pray, and go to bed with God being the last one I speak with before I fall asleep. Good-night.

THe Joy of Discovery

2006-05-04T06:06:00.000-05:00

I feel like a little kid.

Part of my math class is learning to use a graphing calculator. The book gives "how to" with two specific calculators, but I have a different one. When going through the examples in the book, three examples were giving me problems and not coming out right. This has been troubling me a couple of days now. Last night I was going through yet another example when the calculator told me "error; illegal implied multiply". Huh. What does that mean? After doing the same thing and getting the same answer at least 10 times, I began to see the light. "Illegal implied multiply"... was I implying to the calculator to multiply when it wanted to be sure that's what I wanted it to do by telling it specifically? I tried it. Eureeka!!! It worked! (Duh, math and specifics go together!) I checked the other examples I'd had problems with and specifically telling it to multiply caused those to come out right too! Yeahhhh!!! I feel like a little kid - all excited.

Thinking about it, sometimes when I imply things to people it causes trouble. If I don't say specifically what I mean, I may be misunderstood and the other person(s) respond in ways I don't expect. Sometimes I'm guilty of using implication to imply something that isn't true without actually lying, usually out of insecurity, guilt, or pride (like in the comments of my last post - I hope you all will forgive me). I think maybe less implication and more specifics will keep me honest and out of trouble. :)

School Days

2006-05-01T15:37:00.000-05:00

Semester one is done...
Semester two is new,
And begins with review.

long-necks

2006-04-21T16:40:00.000-05:00

Giraffes

Did anyone see the special on PBS last Sunday night about giraffes? I admit I was fascinated.

Giraffes are the tallest animal in the world reaching heights of 18'. They showed a 24 hour old baby that was 6' tall and weighed 138 pounds. Wow. An adult's legs alone are 6' high and a grown man could stand tall under the chest of an adult giraffe.

How do they not pass out from blood rushing from their head when they lift their head from ground level getting a drink to 18' in the air? Well, God gave them a 2' long heart and 1" thick skin to keep their blood pressure even. The blood pressure of a giraffe is twice that of a man and the giraffe's skin has been likened to the pressure suits worn by fighter pilots to keep them from passing out during aerial maneuvers.

The diet of giraffes consist mainly of acacia tree leaves. The eating of these is no mean feat considering the tree has thorns the length of a man's thumb. The approximately 18" firm yet gentle liver-colored tongue and prehensile upper lip of the giraffe enable it to gently and carefully pull off the edible leaves while avoiding the thorns. Cool huh.

The giraffe also has a very unusual gait. Because of it's very long legs, the giraffe moves the legs on the right together, then the legs on the left - this keeps their legs from getting tangled up. When they run, reachings speeds up to 35 mph, they run like a rabbit with their hind legs splaying apart to either side of their front legs and in front of them - this too prevents leg tangles. Their unusual walking gait causes them to sway gracefully along and when they run, their long neck acts like the mast of a ship.

In sparring for dominance, the giraffes swing their necks and heads at each other but they never swing their necks and heads at other animals or people. The hooves of the giraffe a very sharp. When a giraffe is born a gelatinous mass covers their hooves to keep them from hurting mom during birth but wears off as they start walking. When defending themselves or their young from predators like lions, the giraffe kicks, and if the kick connects, it can decapitate a lion. (Giraffes will spend hours determinedly protecting their young if they're threatened.)

Giraffes are also herding animals and after they give birth, the young are put into "daycare". What this boils down to is the parents leave their young with babysitter giraffes and come back often enough to nurse their own babies. The mother giraffes take turns being the babysitters.

Beautiful eyes and long eyelashes. These creatures are blessed with beautiful eyes and very long eyelashes.

Giraffes are gentle giants.

They can also talk. Scientists discovered that when giraffes do what the scientists call "neck-stretching", they are blowing out sharp bursts of air. These bursts are at such a low frequency that we don't hear it, but the sound travels far and the giraffes respond to it.

There are 9 different varieties of giraffes that have varying patterns on their hide.

Before much was known about giraffes, it was believed that they were part leopard and part camel. The word giraffe comes from the arabic word "many parts" describing their appearance of a mixed batch of parts.

Do you realize giraffes are kinda goofy looking? But I love them anyway.

I want to metaphorically be like a giraffe. I want to have a big heart full of love and compassion, thick skin so I don't easily take offense, with a firm yet gentle tongue to speak the truth in love. I want to be able to find sustanence even among thorns. I don't mind looking a little goofy if I'm also graceful and gentle. I want to be steadfast in protecting the young and innocent, kind enough to help care for others kids. I want to be like a giraffe - don't you?

2006-04-19T21:02:00.000-05:00

"The guys" (Steve, Alan, Jordan, and JR) I give these guys a ride to Wed. night church regularly. They are energetic young men who liven up my drive time. Thanks guys.

Busy!

2006-04-12T07:41:00.000-05:00

I have a busy week ahead!

I went to English class last night and found out that my professor moved up our final to next week so we'll be done a week early. The thing is, I will have to study, journal on a poem and make a collage on that poem as well by next Tuesday night. I have an essay due also but that can be turned in the following week. I'm gonna go for the gold and try to have the essay done by next week as well so English will be at an end on the 18th. I also have Math to do and a chapter test next Monday with finals the week after next. Thankfully I found out I have Good Friday off from work so I'll have all day to do schoolwork.

By the way, did I mention working full time?

This weekend I'll be going to the Good Friday services at the LC Walker Arena (I promised to drive a friend there so I can't back out) and a brunch I already said I'd attend for the Muskegon Pregnancy Services Saturday morning.

Having said all that, it'll probably be next Thursday before I can post again. I have ideas but you'll have to be patient with me. Thanks!

Trouble with Paper Trails

2006-04-06T20:48:00.000-05:00

Ever been on a paper trail adventure? Oooooo it makes the mind tick.

Someone I know is having problems obtaining a passport & I'm trying to help. I'll not go into the whys and wherefore's but this person is a legitimate US citizen. Various circumstances and human error prevent getting a passport and the paper trail is rather old and hidden. I feel like an investigator following leads. I've run into some dead-ends but I'm still hot on the trail.

Did you know that if your birth certificate was missing, delayed or human error was involved in any way in the recording of it from the hospital up through the state that you have to come up with multiple other proofs from the time of your birth? Not so hard if you're under 50, but before that runs into problems. I'm runnin' down the historic public record track - grade schools, censuses, dead Dr.'s records, hospital records, immunizations, birth record in newspapers, etc. Some will even cost money to hunt down.

How many people can't leave the country due to similar problems? It was probably easier before 9/11 but it sure is hard now, although I understand why. What would happen if their job required them to leave the country but they couldn't get a passport for a similar reason? Maybe they'd not get the job they hoped for. If they had family in other countries, they wouldn't even be able to visit. I suppose it wouldn't bother them until they tried and couldn't go. How disheartening to want to visit other places but be limited to the US. I pray grace for the people in this situation. I hurt for this person so I'm going to try my best. I know I want to travel and I hope this person can too.

Chris, this one's for you!

2006-04-04T15:01:00.000-05:00

You asked for a bizarre question so I'll reiterate mine from the chatterbox: When you're way out in the middle of Lake Michigan fishing, where do all those biting black flies come from?

Of course, after Chris has answered my question, feel free everyone to add your two cents (or even three!).

Lead role or Supporting role?

2006-03-31T12:22:00.000-05:00

"All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players"
William Shakespeare's As You Like It

What role do I play? Am I a lead role or a supporting role? Is it changing? Which way? If from lead to supporting - how's my attitude?

I was thinking about these things this morning.

What would happen if everybody played the lead at the same time? Confusion (everybody agruing with each other and bumping into each other) or boredom (all voices saying the same thing at the same time in one long monologue with nothing to break it).

What if there were no lead roles and all supporting roles? Confusion (where am I supposed to go ?- what am I supposed to do? while milling around aimlessly.

What if there was a call for a lot of supporting role policemen but they all acted the same & did the same things? Boredom - same ole same ole - (What!?! No bad cop, good cop? How would they ever get their man!?!)

Would you want to watch any of these? Not me. No way.

How about music, a symphony?

Everbody has lead? No solos? All in the same key playing the same notes - there goes the harmony - in comes droning. All the same instrument? Would you want to hear one of these symphonies (If you could call it that!)?

We all have roles to play - different ones at different times, some leading roles and some supporting roles. God gives us the grace for each phase of our lives. Leaders know how lonely and hard it is to go without the support of others around them while supporters know how aimless it feels to have no leadership.

It makes a difference what our attitude is whether a leader or supporter. Nobody wants to follow a leader who lords it over them, being selfish and overbearing. Nobody wants supporters who resent them, filled with envy and jealousy.

I think of King Saul and the Pharisees as opposed to Jonathan and John the Baptist. When King Saul knew David was up and coming, soon to replace him, he was angry, jealous, and bitter, fighting him all the way...hurting himself and those around him. Jonathan, his son, knew the same thing - that David would be king instead of himself one day - but he loved David, giving over his kingly apparrel to David and supporting him. When the Pharisees saw Jesus's popularity and how the people followed Him, they were jealous and looked for ways to kill Jesus (Saul of Tarsus & the disciples of Jesus!?!). When the disciples of John the Baptist commented to him that the crowds were now following Jesus, all John said is "He must increase, but I must decrease" John 3:30.

I want to be a gracious supporter of others.

This shows we need extra grace from God especially in times of going from lead role to support role - if you know of anybody here - PRAY FOR THEM!

I think because of my background I struggle with being a graceful supporter. If I step on any toes, please be aware God is working with me to be a more gracious supporter and pray for me.

Grace and peace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.

2006-03-19T16:34:00.000-05:00

Yeah!!! Tomorrow is the first day of spring and this crocus was blooming today by my house. Beautiful isn't it? God's showin' His glory again!

Tennessee Bird Walk

2006-03-13T17:08:00.000-05:00

Sorry Anna but I have to put the blame on you for this one... a song that was in the "lost files" section of my mind... until a week ago last Friday. Anna brought it to our movie night to listen to and it's been stuck in my mind all day today since I first woke up. I guess I've done the same to you a few times Anna. Anyway, if you read this Dan, I think you'll remember this song when you read the lyrics. Roger Miller did a rendition of it but I remember it by the original singers. Here's a link to the lyrics of Tennesse Bird Walk. It's one of those odd and amusing songs and it also has to do with spring (a bit). I hope you all enjoy. I get a kick out of it.

Words on a Sweatshirt - Circa 1970's

2006-03-12T17:11:00.000-05:00

Words I identify with...

I may not be rich, tough, or beautiful -
but I'm faithful.

:)

"Paycheck" and "Equilibrium"

2006-03-04T16:18:00.000-05:00

Last night I throughly enjoyed pizza and movies with two friend of mine. On the way home, I pondered the movies. We watched "Paycheck" and "Equilibrium".

What was it about the movies that really moved me? In "Paycheck" the guy was a genius who ended up out-smarting the bad guys. I think putting myself in the place of the hero (let's set aside that he's a guy and I'm a girl), makes me feel powerful in my intelligence. Lust for power, in essence. How about "Equilibrium"? Well, the guy went from bad to good but what was really impressive was his almost inhuman ability to fight and destroy the enemy, especially in impossible odds. Powerful. What's the interest in the marvel comic characters? Power. Don't get me wrong, these characters also are very complicated, having weaknesses and endearing qualities. But my focus is on what really draws us to these characters - I think it's their power. Movies like this are exciting and enjoyable but I think I need to guard my heart that it doesn't stir up in my heart a lust for power - be it in physical, mental, or a charismatic personality (not in the religious sense) prowess. I see being controlling and manipulative as seeking power as well. I confess, I have sought physical and mental prowess (I don't have what it takes for a charismatic personality). I have also been controlling and manipulative. I've even tried to manipulate God - to my shame. This helps me understand why God wants us to be humble followers and not lead as the world leads, lording it over people, but to be a servant leader. He knows our weakness. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Even some power leads to pride and a fall. Only GOD is qualified to be powerful - only GOD (all three members of the Trinity) isn't corrupted by power. Our sinful human nature grabs at power, runs with it, until we destroy not only those around us but ourselves. Jesus was our example. He showed us what it is to be humble and a servant leader. When people tried to make him a king, He avoided them. Why? Because then He wouldn't be showing us how we need to live. He would have ruled justly and wisely (as He will when He returns) but then we would have thought we could do the same. We can't.

I also learned about God in relation to me through the movie "Paycheck". I hope not to give away too much but I have to say some to be clear. The hero saw the future, but he knew he wouldn't remember, so he sent himself articles he knew he'd need. I see God in this. Only God knows our future and He provides for us ahead of time, knowing what we'll need. When he provides, we may not have a clue as to what it's for - but God knows that a time is coming when we'll need it. It'll make sense to us at the time we need to use it. Sometimes God doesn't provide until just the time we have need. We worry that He won't be there. That calls for faith - faith that God knows where we are and what we need - faith to trust that when the right time comes, He'll provide. Faith to trust that what God has given us, we'll need one day, even if we don't understand right now.

I'm thankful for having good friends and I'm happy I saw these movies because God used them to teach me. I also enjoyed the movies in themselves. I'll probably see more movies that may tempt me toward power-lust. If I know to guard my heart and do it, I can safely watch these shows and enjoy them. If I see in my life a turning toward lust for power in any way, I think I'll have to cut myself off from watching such shows.

Audio Poem of the Week

2006-03-01T16:21:00.000-05:00

Ahhhm...new to hmmmm...Audio Poem of the Week. Click on "Audio Poem of the Week" located just below my profile to hear this week's poem. I may update more or less often depending on how the Spirit leads me (and how much time I have available). Various authors will be presented including some of my own from time to time. Subject matter will also vary depending on how the Spirit leads. I hope you will find the poems enjoyable, timely, and/or thought provoking. Enjoy.

My Mugshots - Link to Pictures of Me

2006-02-25T21:31:00.000-05:00

I've a new blog titled "Mugs of Me". You can check it out clicking on MY MUGSHOTS under "Links of Interest". I'll be updating it off and on, so every now and then see if there's something new!

Break

2006-02-24T07:16:00.000-05:00

Yes, mid-term break. Ohhhh, what a relief it is! Well, almost. I still have an essay due for English on my first day back from break. Still....I plan to enjoy some of this time I have - at least a little this weekend. You know, you never really appreciate what you have until it's gone. I wasted alot of time before I went back to school and complained about my schedule being busy. Now I know what busy is. Working full time and school half time realllly filled my schedule. It probably wouldn't be so bad but for the fact it's been over 20 years since I last went to college, so I press hard to do well and bring my GPA up. Now I intend to enjoy my free time more - really appreciate it and praise God for it. Then it's back to the books. My sched. is planned all the way through till fall term.

I thank God for His leading me back to my childhood dream. Last year, the LORD showed me that in my heart I thought that since I was 40, that my life was over and I was pretty much waiting it out till I see the LORD, either when He comes or when I die. He told me I was very much wrong and still have a lot of living yet to do. This is a new beginning for me, a kind of resurrection from the dead. I've alot of living for the Lord to do. Praise Almighty GOD the GOD of new beginnings. HURRAH!

Surprising answer to prayer!

2006-02-14T21:22:00.000-05:00

Yesterday morning during my prayer time I asked God for something I don't usually ask for - I asked Him to bless me.

Immediately after I asked, I had a vision of a child who's father had come home. The father was stout with a white/gray beard approximatly 6" long and wearing a dark coat with several pockets. The child expects some surprise from him and begins poking her little hands into the various pockets.

I was soooo concerned that I wouldn't be able to recognize the blessing. I was telling God that I didn't trust my being able to reconize it and I told him I felt like I didn't have the hands to reach into the pockets for the blessing. Then I said I'd trust Him and keep my eyes open for the blessing.

Yesterday afternoon at work, I was working at a table close to a window. Where I work are many windows and the shop is situated in a fairly open area with a meadowish field around it. I was startled to see a fuzzy (hair sticking straight out - I think it was cold) 6" or so rodent running/hopping across the top of the snow toward the window and to the building. I lost site of him close to the building under my window. Suddenly I was startled to see it's head pop up out of the snow a few feet away from the building. After that, he'd burrow under the snow a couple of feet, pop back up, look around, go under again, go another few feet, and pop up again. He continued this toward the front of the building. Then I lost site of him again. Then I saw a running movement of the snow that looking like a mole or ground squirrel path but in the snow, then he popped up again. He re-checked some holes he'd previously popped out of then he disappeared and didn't come back. He was so very entertaining and cute. I thanked God for him and told Anna that this was the blessing God showed me that morning.

I realized later how accurate the vision God gave me was. The dark coat and the white/gray beard on the father represented the colors of the rodent - dark from just about cheek level up and all down it's back, and whitish/gray under chin, neck and belly. The pockets on the coat were the various little holes the rodent popped up out of. It looked stout like the father when I first saw it because it's hair was sticking out, although once it started popping in and out of the holes, it looked skinny - like the child's small hands. Lastly, it was about 6" long like the father's beard.

I looked up tonight what it was - it's called a Least Weasel, the tiniest carnivore. Here is a link to it Least Weasel at E-Nature.

God showed me that not only does He answer even our small prayers, but He also showed me I don't have to worry about recognizing the answer - He's fully capable of giving me enough information that I will readily recognize that answer. My God is sooooo awesome. Thank you LORD.

Here's What I Found!

2006-02-06T18:17:00.000-05:00

I looked up scriptures to back up what I thought of. My friends Anna & Steph came through - thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!

The Statue of Liberty is a woman.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her... "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.(Ephesians 5;25,31-32)

Lady Liberty stands for freedom.
"Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed." (John 8:36)
"it was necessary for the Christ to suffer and to rise from the dead the third day, and that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in His name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem." (Luke 24:46c-47)

She carries a lit torch.
"You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lamppost, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:14-16)

In the poem written by Emma Lazaruz concerning the Statue of Liberty in "The New Colossus" she says of her:
"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretch refuse of your teeming shore; send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
"The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor, He has sent Me to heal the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed; to proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD" (Luke 4:18-19)
Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ's behalf, be reconciled to God." (2 Corinthians 5:20)
For you see your calling brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence. (1 Corinthians 1:26-29)

Lady Liberty stands!
...And having done all, to stand. Stand therefore... (Ephesians 6:13c-14a)

Be blessed!

Lady Liberty and the Church

2006-02-06T18:04:00.000-05:00

I would like to challenge you children of God (not too hard a challenge though!).

What comparisons can be drawn between the Statue of Liberty and the Church, as an individual and corporately?

My next post, I'll answer all I know. I hope you'll catch me with some I haven't thought of!

Hope

2006-01-26T20:00:00.000-05:00

Do you ever get discouraged and question all that's going on in your life? I do. As my profile states, I'm over 40. I've never been married and have no kids. I live with my Mom - (ie. no home of my own). I also have health problems that may prevent me from ever having children, unless God provides a miracle. Will I end up a spinster, looking to extended family for help in my old age (Lord willing)? I'm going back to school but I think about my family - the problems they're having, their needs, and that I may not have as much time with them as I'd hope. I'm finding most of my free time is gone due to school. I have almost no time to spend with anyone anymore. If this continues, I'll feel like I'm abandoning my family and friends for years while I go to school. Time I can never get back. I have an Uncle diagnosed with cancer and not given much longer to live...I don't even know if he knows Jesus. So little time to spend with anyone.

But God . . .

God encouraged me this morning.

He led me to Romans 5:3b-5

. . . that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

I always thought this meant that hard times I need to persevere through, this will produce character in me, and this will somehow bring me into hope. Once I reach this place of hope, I won't be disappointed because God will fill my heart with His love.

God gave me a new look at this.

I looked up some of the words in Strong's Concordance and using that, this is how I paraphrase those lines:

In hard times, wait patiently for God. In that patient waiting, God will bring me proof/experience (of His goodness I think), and that proof/experience (of God's goodness) brings me to have good expectations of the future. These good expectations of the future won't disappoint, shame, humiliate, or dishonor me, because the love of God (His love for me) has been poured out in my heart by the Holy Spirit who God gave me.

Now waiting patiently doesn't mean doing nothing. In David of the Bible, he waited to become King. While waiting he suffered being threatened with his life by King Saul. He didn't just sit there though. He befriended people, worked by protecting other people's sheep, and sang songs to God, trusting Him. In Joseph of the Bible, he waited to rule - but in the meantime, he worked as a slave for Potipher, becoming second only to Potipher in his household and staying true to God & trusting Him. Even when in prison, Joseph did his best while rising to the top in prison to be head over his fellow prisoners. Waiting patiently means doing the best you can where you are with what you have, trusting God and following Him as best you can.

Eventually in the patient waiting, I'll experience God's faithfulness and see God's goodness. Enough of these experiences will stir my heart to expect good from God whatever may come. I won't be disappointed because I'll be filled with God's love in my heart by His Spirit (I'll know He loves me).

Did ya miss me?

2006-01-13T19:01:00.000-05:00

Hi. I've returned to work after the holiday break (I work full-time), started half-time at college, and still teach 1st & 2nd grade girls at church on Wednesday nights. I don't know whether I'm coming or going. It is a new adventure though. If only I can figure out how to keep everything going and get some sleep too.

My father has a karaoke set-up at his house and I participated three weeks in a row! (Whew!) I enjoyed it and got a chance to spend time with some family members I don't see too often. I even got some compliments this time - they said I've improved since last year, I can actually carry a tune! ;) (At least on some songs - sigh.) It must be the singing in the pews at church every week that helps. I added a couple of pics from karaoke. Sorry, none of me - I was taking the pictures.

Three of my four brothers - Butch, Jim, and Dan.

My nephew JR, my brother Dan, and my Dad.

My sister Sylvia and my sister-in-law Jamie, Jim's wife.

I hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year.

Pierced

2006-01-01T19:35:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I had my ears pierced for a Christmas present. I've had them pierced before, twice, but both times I let them close up because they got infected. One last try, this time I'll only use quality earrings. I have my ears pierced merely as an adornment.

I thought about what the Bible has to say about ear piercing. I only found one place that mentions it - Exodus 21:2-6.

Exodus 21:2-6:

If you (a Hebrew) buy a Hebrew servant, he shall serve six years; and in the seventh he shall go out free and pay nothing. If he comes in by himself, he shall go out by himself; if he comes in married, then his wife shall go out with him. If his master has given him a wife, and she has borne him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall be her master's, and he shall go out by himself. But if the servant plainly says, "I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free," then his master shall bring him to the judges. He shall also bring him to the door, or to the doorpost, and his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him forever.
(I added what's in italics just for clarifying who the "you" being spoken of is.)

If the servant loves his master, wife, and children, and is unwilling to go out free, he will remain a servant of his master forever and have his ear pierced as a sign.

This makes me think of Jesus. His master is GOD the Father, His wife (bride) is the church, and His children are those who believe in Him and follow Him. Jesus became a servant of GOD when He came to earth as a man and obeyed GOD as a servant the whole time he was here.

"Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it something to be held onto to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Phillipians 2:5-11.

GOD gave Jesus the church and His children."No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day." John 6:44

Jesus was pierced not in His ears, but in His hands, feet, and heart. Why pierced? Because He loves His Master, His bride, and His children. He was willing to be pierced, serving GOD forever and so we could be together forever. "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." John 15:13

There was no other way for the servant keep the bride and children his master gave him except to be pierced. In the same way, but because of our sins (evil thoughts, words, and deeds), there was no other way for Jesus to keep us who believe Him and follow him except for Him to be pierced, dying for us, paying the price for our sins. "But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

The piercing is full forever commitment - out of love.

The love of GOD in Jesus Christ overwhelms me.

Snow Covered Hills & Life

2005-12-22T06:52:00.000-05:00

I was thinking this morning about how life can be like a trip out to the snow covered hills to ski (or snowboard). We want the excitement of the ride down, but being inexperienced, we end up taking some knocks and tumbles along the way. Even as we become more experienced, there's ever more challenging slopes to conquer. Sometimes we have the thrill of a great ride. Sometimes we get tired and sore, need a break, and take time out for refreshment, recovery, and renewal. And sometimes we get exhausted, worn, beaten up, and discouraged. That's when we really need our friends' encouragement to pick ourselves up and go on to finish. When the day is done, it seems although we've been riding the hills all day, we haven't progressed much. But each time we're getting a little better, a little stronger, and what used to seem so challenging isn't so challenging anymore. Soon we'll be the one's cheering on and encouraging those who are less experienced, remembering what it was like to be there. Take heart - life is challenging - but we are growing and we are not alone. When we look back, we'll have great memories and great friends. And we'll know we were up for the challenge, we did it, we conquered!

Note: Some of my thoughts here come from reflecting on my friend Stephenie's November post "Warning: Blonde On a Snowboard" on her blog Exhale telling of her first time experience out snowboarding, and some come from my own experiences out skiing.

Webcams!

2005-12-09T12:28:00.000-05:00

Check out my latest addition - two local webcam site links. I hope to add a few more in the future.

Those '70's!

2005-12-06T20:03:00.000-05:00

About 1973 - my family - Mom, Sue (note the Paul McCartney haircut), me, Cindy, Dad, Chris, Butch, and Dan. Shag haircuts were in - Mom, Cindy, and I all had one!
Just the brothers and sisters about 1977 - I think I was 14 then. (Dan, Cindy, me, Butch, Chris, & Sue)

The next post is just this last Thanksgiving - my how we've grown!

Thanksgiving 2005 pics

2005-12-06T19:51:00.000-05:00

The adults at Thanksgiving (except Felecia on the couch). My brother, Jim and his wife Jamie left before we thought to take pictures - Jamie had to go to work. Left to right, top to bottom - Dave (Sue's husband), Aunt Helen, Sue, Ross (Cindy's husband), Becky (Chris's wife), Chris, my Mom, Butch, Dan, Cindy, and me.
The teens and kids at Thanksgiving - left to right, top to bottom - JR, Ezra, DeMario, Spencer, Eliza, Emma, Logan, and Felecia.

Where's the water?

2005-12-04T14:25:00.000-05:00

This is a picture from the early '90's. My former bf (pictured) and I went on a canoeing tour down the Muskegon River. All went well until the river branched into the North and South branches. We thought we took the correct branch, buuuut - the river turned into a marsh. We ended up having to portage the canoe over this access road in the river flats to get to a place where we could get back on track and finish the trip.

Yes, that's a couple beers on the cooler - this was before I returned to the Lord in 2000. I had come to the Lord as a kid and had went to church for a few years. In my teens, I turned away from the Lord, choosing a branch to take. Eventually, I was living with a guy, drank and smoked.

Then the life choice I'd made began to dry up. First I quit drinking in about 1995, then I quit smoking about 1997. In 2000 my life path dried up - I was depressed and the Lord allowed me to come to a place where I decided that if God wasn't real, and Jesus wasn't who He said He was, I didn't want to live. That was a turning point in my life. I chose to believe.

I got rid of all the stuff in the house that I knew was offensive to God - idols and offensive books, music, the works. When I was done, I felt so clean - I spun in the middle of the living room with a big grin on my face. I also knew that I'd either have to marry Pat or split up with him. (I stopped having a physical relationship with him.) I knew I wasn't supposed to marry an unbeliever, but when I turned to God, Pat said he'd also turn to God. We were planning on getting married. I felt driven to spending a month separated from him before getting married, but he figured that if I wanted to spend time away that it was over. I did move in with my mother. During that time, I called Pat to see how he was doing and if he was going to church. The answer was always no. At that point I figured that God wanted me to see that Pat's heart hadn't changed toward Him and that if I were to marry him, that I wouldn't be happy and neither would he. So that was when we broke up permanently.

Now I'm back on the right branch and can finish the course.

Remembering that trip also brings to mind the story of Elijah in the Bible when the evil King Ahab & Jezebel were ruling. Elijah told Ahab "As the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word." Then God sent him to the Kerith Ravine saying "You will drink from the brook, and I have ordered the ravens to feed you there." Some time later the brook dried up and the LORD sent him to Zarephath where God commanded a widow to supply him with food.

There are times in our lives where the supply we're receiving where we're at dries up. At this time change is needed. We may be going in the wrong direction and God, in His kindness, is forcing us to go in a new direction. We may be going the right way, but God in His wisdom has determined that it's time for us to move in a new direction. Either way, change comes. Follow God and you can't go wrong. Don't know the right way? Read the Bible and do what it says. Beyond that, pray to the Lord for wisdom and guidance, then step forward in faith - trusting that God will take you where you need to go - one step at a time.

My newest new direction, coming up quite unexpectedly, (although in hindsight God gave me hints all along), is going back to school to become a civil engineer specializing in foundations, structures, and site layout for: the best in areas of hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and other such disasters; and revitalizing old buildings that would otherwise be torn down.

I will continue to follow as the Lord leads. May you be blessed as you follow Him too.

2005-12-02T18:36:00.000-05:00

What do you do after a hard day of barking at squirrels, birds, and neighborhood kids going by? Why, lounge on the recliner, of course! Killer - my Mom's miniature dachshund.

Whiteness

2005-12-01T22:06:00.000-05:00

Whiteness is falling

Wet cold collects on the ground.

Breaths of wind play a tune

The whiteness knows the dance.

Soft, yet when pressured hard,

Beautiful yet dangerous -

Everything, everyone bows to your power.

When you're here I feel you've been here ever.

But seasons pass

And soon you will disappear

Only to reappear

When time rolls once again

To your domain.

2005-11-29T18:05:00.000-05:00

1977. Blizzard after-effects. This picture was published in a local paper back in 1977. If you look closely, there is a car parked behind the snowbank on the left side. This is a local back road - tunnel driving. We had massive snowstorms the winters of '76 - '78. I remember in 1978 we only had school three days a week for 6 weeks. A blizzard each weekend took 2 days to plow out sufficiently to open the school (I was in 8th grade at the time.). One of those years, when I walked on the snowbanks beside a main road to go to my friend's house, I would step over a street sign since it was only about 6 inches above the snowbank - just readable. Those were incredibly snowy years.

My Action-Hero Results -

2005-11-28T07:02:00.000-05:00

You scored as William Wallace. The great Scottish warrior William Wallace led his people against their English oppressors in a campaign that won independence for Scotland and immortalized him in the hearts of his countrymen. With his warrior's heart, tactician's mind, and poet's soul, Wallace was a brilliant leader. He just wanted to live a simple life on his farm, but he gave it up to help his country in its time of need.

William Wallace

71%

Lara Croft

63%

Maximus

58%

Indiana Jones

58%

The Amazing Spider-Man

58%

Batman, the Dark Knight

54%

Neo, the "One"

50%

The Terminator

42%

James Bond, Agent 007

42%

El Zorro

33%

Captain Jack Sparrow

33%

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

Pain!!!

2005-11-27T11:41:00.000-05:00

Today is pain. But God is good. Yesterday I overdid it shoveling the driveway. It's my fault. The Lord tried to tell me through my Mom not to bother with the side of the drive my Mom uses and just shovel the side I use, because I'd need to drive out before she would (for church today). I didn't listen. Through the warm temperature (upper 30's? lower 40's?) and the bright sunshine the Lord tried to tell me it'd melt enough for my Mom by Monday - but I didn't listen to that either. Sometimes I can be so stubborn. Now I'll pay for it. I hope I learn from this to listen to the Lord and not my stubborn self. That would be the gift from this. For now, I'll get some ibuprophen, apply a heating/vibrating pad, call the Dr. tomorrow to see if I can get a muscle relaxer, and ouch my way everywhere I go. I hope I'll heal soon. Please pray for healing for me - I have to work tomorrow!

Sacrifice

2005-11-24T17:45:00.000-05:00

In my prayer time this morning, I was contemplating sacrifice.

The person who sacrifices for someone else elevates that person from where they are to a new level - consider Jesus with us and Johnathon with David. Also, my sacrifice for someone else shows that person their worth and value to me. It elevates their worth and value in their own eyes and in the eyes of those around them. This is love! I can sacrifice for others, if I consider Christ's sacrifice for them, how much worth and value Christ places on them. Then I see that if they are worth sacrificing for to Christ, then they are certainly worth my sacrificing for them! (LORD, teach my heart to love!)-- Note: Christ sacrificed Himself for those who are worth it but don't deserve it. He sacrificed Himself for SINNERS like ME! Thank you Jesus!

I have worth because He loves me. He sacrificed Himself because He loves me and I'm worth it to Him - I didn't earn it and I don't deserve it, but I am worth it - because He loves me.

Saying this, I know I still have a fight on my hands - against my selfish flesh that wants to put ME first, against a society that says "look out for #1", and against the devil who doesn't want people to know their worth and value to God, and to me. But "I am more than a conquerer through Him who loved me and gave Himself for me".

Thanksgiving!

2005-11-24T17:23:00.000-05:00

I am so thankful for my family - it was a wonderful Thanksgiving (I'm full!). We had a full house today. My Mom & I live in a three bedroom mobile home (14' x 70') with one room addition. We had 13 adults, 2 teens, 5 kids, and a one year old - that's 21 altogether! The dining room is part of the kitchen. We had a T shaped table in the dining room and into the living room. The little kids ate in the living room at a separate table. Whew! I'm sure glad we potluck the dinner, splitting up cooking responsibilities, and use disposable tableware. We still spent a bit of time cleaning up afterward. It was great seeing everyone though and we all enjoyed ourselves. My year old nephew Ezra was fun to play with - he's starting to develop his personality and actively interacting with people. I thank GOD for blessing me with my family.

Friend? Brother? Soul-mate?

2005-11-22T06:47:00.000-05:00

Friend, brother, soul-mate - what does it all mean?

Aquaintence
Friend
Good friend
Best friend
Sister-brother
Soul-mate

These are the levels of relationships as I know it. But the question is, how do I define these? I'll start from the top and work my way down.

Aquaintence

An aquaintence is someone I know but only nominally. By that I mean I only know what's on the outside, what I can see. I say hello and chat about the weather but I don't know them much better than that. I have some aquaintences, as I know you do as well, and some I'd like to get to know better - become friends.

Friend

A friend I know better than an aquaintence. I'd know some of your likes and dislikes, find I have some things in common with you, and spend some time with you.

Good friend

A good friend is one you trust to reveal more of yourself to. At this point, you begin to make yourself vulnerable to the other person, and they do the same with you. Also, some of my (your) less than sterling qualities begin to be evident, but I trust you to accept me anyway.

Best friend

A best friend knows your secrets. They don't judge or criticize you, but are willing to point out things to you that you might not like - because it'll help you grow. They know you won't shut them out for it. They are your shoulder to cry on and encourage you when you're down. You're comfortable being yourself with them. (And visa-versa, of course.)

Sister-brother

I think of my natural siblings to define sister-brother relationships. Sisters and brothers are sisters and brothers no matter what happens. They may not even LIKE each other but they remain brother and sister. (Not that I dislike any of my natural brothers and sisters, although I do get frustrated with them sometimes.) We can be ourselves without fear of rejection. We feel free to discuss what's going on in each others lives and work out what's the best course of action. We can hold each other accountable. We are there for each other through everything. (Note all the "we" in there?) Within the body of Christ, we're called to this with each other - brothers and sisters in Christ - lots of "one another"ing.

Soul-mate

This reminds me of David and Johnathan in the Bible. The Bible says "their souls were knit together". Some think of soul-mates as prospective husband or wife but a soul-mate can be between two men or two women. Soul-mate doesn't have to do with eros love, which is erotic love , but has to do with agape love, which is sacrificial, put the other person first, love.

Johnathan's father Saul was king of Israel at the time. Johnathan met David after David killed the giant Goliath. It was at this time their souls were knit together. Later, the Scriptures reveal that Johnathan knew that GOD was going to make David king, even though by bloodline Johnathan would be king. Because Johnathan loved David, his soul-mate, he gave David what he was wearing - his robe and tunic, even his sword, bow, and belt - in effect, putting David in his own place as heir to the throne. This is sacrificial love. This is the essence of soul-mate.

If we accept what Jesus did for us on the cross, His sacrificial giving of Himself for our sins (the wickedness and evil in our hearts, mouths, and deeds) and turn from our sins, then He becomes our soul-mate. In Jesus' heart we're His soul-mate, because He gave all He had sacrificially for us. "No greater love has a man than this, that he lay down his life for his friend." This is very true seeing He sends His Holy Spirit to live in us. "There is one who's closer than a brother."

An interesting note:

The Bible calls husbands to agape love their wives, to love them sacrificially, putting them before themselves. Nowhere does the Bible call wives to agape love their husbands, but to phileo love them, which is to love them with brotherly love. To balance this, all of GOD's children are called to agape love each other - no matter what their relationship to each other is.

I still have much room to grow here, as we all do. I'm thankful the LORD keeps growing me into the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ. Blessings and may your friendships keep growing, becoming fuller and richer day by day.

Beauuuutiful Day

2005-11-18T22:08:00.000-05:00

What a beauuuutiful day. Well, I guess it's a little cold & snowy, but it is Friday. That makes it beauuuutiful. I get to sleep in (zzzzzz) a little in the morning. Saturday mornings are my move around slowly & spend time with the LORD time. I greatly enjoy my Saturday mornings. Tomorrow I'll have to get moving a bit earlier than normal due to putting in a couple hours at work. I'm also looking forward to the Thanksgiving weekend. 4 days off with the first one spent with family sharing a tasty repast. Friday night I'll be going to the Moscow Ballet performing the "Great Russian Nutcracker". I've never seen it before. I hope I can figure out what's going on. The remainder of the weekend I hope to rest (ahhhh) - I don't do that too often. Grace be unto you and peace from GOD our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Poetic thoughts

2005-11-15T21:06:00.000-05:00

GOD is holy -
I am not.
He's full of goodness,
I have evil in my heart.
I tremble in fear
Because of GOD's wrath,
For He is righteous and just
Evil must be punished.

But GOD sent Jesus Christ,
The form of GOD's grace.
He sent Jesus to take my place.
Jesus is the bridge
Between the Just and unjust
He dissipates GOD's wrath toward me
And allows GOD's love to shine through.

If it wasn't for GOD's grace in Christ
I'd give up,
Curl up in a dark corner,
And die.
But His grace gives me hope.

GOD is a consuming fire.
Because of GOD's grace
Flowing from Christ's blood
I have hope.
Instead of the fire consuming me,
The fire warms me.

I can come out of the dark
Where I hide
Into the light of GOD
Because by GOD's grace in Jesus Christ
The light of the fire that's GOD
Won't burn me
But will warm and comfort me.

GOD's grace in Christ
Gives me hope to go on -
Even though I still fail -
Because He forgives me and releases me
From those failures
To go forward
Try again
And grow.

Chatterboxes and other things

2005-11-13T16:14:00.000-05:00

I confess that my server was innocent of the problem with the chatterbox. The place I got it from is no longer making them available. Goes to show what happens when you jump to conclusions. Thanks Stephanie for doing the investigative work that brought the mystery to light. I bet you'd make a grand detective! I also thank you for finding another chatterbox to use. It's even better than the last one! Goes to show that "All things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purposes."! - Even the things that are upsetting at the time. I'll more than likely still change servers - we've been having problems sending and receiving photo's and such over emails ever since we changed to this server. For their sakes I hope they get their problems worked out. I thank the LORD for restoring my lost purse today! Be blessed and may God be glorified!

Fiesty

2005-11-12T17:23:00.000-05:00

Hi. Just a little fiesty today. I had a bit of a rough morning today. Enemy (Satan) attack. The Lord gives me more grace though. I'm more than a conquerer through Him who loved me and gave His life for me. I'm also thankful for His forgiveness for my pity-party (private). Now I get on my blog and find out that my server yanked out my chatterbox. They didn't even email me asking me to remove it. They're losing my business. I don't know of any other servers that require you to pay for a website to have a chatterbox. Ah well. The Lord is my Shepherd and I think he's leading me to a new internet server. Pray that the Lord will lead me to the right one that's upright in it's dealings with their customers and also has a clean homepage. I do feel a little guilty now & hope they'll forgive me. They told me not to have the chatterbox, that I was supposed to have a paid website. I didn't remove the chatterbox, so it is my fault. After all, it is their server and they have the right to tell me what I can & can't have. If I wanted the chatterbox, it was up to me to get a new server, not be defiant and keep it going when they told me no. I'm sorry & next time I'll listen to my internet server and respect their right to run their server as they see fit. I'll just change servers. Thanks for letting me unload, repent, and be refreshed.

Rain

2005-11-10T12:37:00.000-05:00

Can't see for the rain
Pouring down around me, beside me, through me.

Hear the pounding tempo on the surfaces about -
Echoing, silencing.

Feel the tiny pressures on the nerves under my skin -
Timeless, endless.

Pouring rain around me
Echoing through time
Flowing by in a glistening rush
Cleanse all that you touch.

Reminds me that
"Jesus is returning for His church - cleansed by the washing with the water of the Word"

I walk by faith and not by sight,
By the power of His might
As I listen and obey God's Word.

God is so good, but sometimes His hand isn't seen at first. Faith.

Test Results!

2005-11-09T12:08:00.000-05:00

Yeah...good news! I got the placement test results. The english turned out better than I thought and on the math, my guesstimate was right on. Looks like I'll be taking a math and an english class next semester. Perhaps they'll even count the english class I took 22 years ago and I'll only have to take the one english class - wouldn't that be special! I will be taking math every semester as long as I'm at MCC though. Good thing I like math.

I'm enjoying the sunshine after the rain. Here at work we're surrounded by windows, so we can watch all that's going on around us. The european sparrows that were flying in great flocks are about all gone now. We still occasionally see bluebirds, along with snowbirds and sparrows. A bird feeder out here would be nice.

Pleasant Wednesday everyone.

It's a new day!

2005-11-08T12:39:00.000-05:00

Great is Thy faithfullness. His mercy is new every morning! Obviously I feel better today - I got a good nights sleep - YEAH! To comment on my last post - debates can be learning experiences if they're not a place of competition and/or a power struggle. I still eagerly look forward to heaven or the return of Jesus, whichever comes first.

By the way, did you see how good you are at recognizing fake smiles? (Check out the link.) Just so you don't feel bad, I only got 12 out of 20. Just be sure when you click the arrow to make-em smile, that you watch through the whole thing. Be blessed!

I don't know what to say

2005-11-07T20:33:00.000-05:00

Hi. I about said it all in the title today. I've had an up & down day. Trouble sleeping this week. Struggle with a headache that won't go away. Sometimes I get sad. Sad at all the pain & trouble we cause each other. Sad at how I so often fall short. Sometimes I'm a fraidy cat, especially when it comes to relating with people. Afraid of rejection, so I hide. Afraid of speaking wrong, so I don't speak at all. If I let myself out will I be hugged or hated? I so hate arguing, fighting, and even debating. Someone ends up right while someone ends up wrong. One ends up feeling proud for how smart they are and how well they handled it, while the other feels like an idiot who's not worth much. Oh how I long for heaven. Where we won't sin & hurt each other anymore. Where there'll be no more pain, suffering, and heartache. Where there'll be no more separation and insecurity. LORD help me, I need comfort and peace. Give me the grace to live life gracefully. Thank you for being my Shepherd who'll be with me & lead me through. Sorry I'm a downer today friends. I do love you.

Surf

2005-11-04T12:08:00.000-05:00

How can you tell the difference between being religious and following the GOD's Holy Spirit? Surfing. Have you ever been surfing? Well, being religious is like paddling out, while following the Spirit is like catching the wave and riding it... let me explain. When you paddle out, you are working with all your strength, fighting the waves coming at you. Hard and tiring. When you catch the wave, the waves are no longer your enemy but your friend. All you have to do is come into agreement with the wave (a couple paddles & the wave catches you), then you STAND UP and RIDE - no more work, you just stand. You have freedom on that wave but as soon as you go at odds to the wave, the ride's over. It's back to work (paddling out & fighting) or come back into agreement & ride again! Unlike surfing, when following God's Spirit the ride doesn't have to end ever and once you catch the wave, you never have to paddle out again - your choice! As for me, I sometimes fall off the board; but then I get back on, catch the wave, and RIDE! (Did I tell you that riding a wave gives you an ear to ear perma-grin?!?

Testing...123 testing

2005-11-01T21:17:00.000-05:00

Tests, ah yes. Other than testing for my amateur radio license and CPR/first aid license, I haven't done a test in about 20 years - until tonight. I did math and english tests for placement in college. I was a bit nervous but I think I did OK. On one part of the english test, we were to choose from a given set of possibilities the subject for an essay. The one I chose also happened to need me to speak of God and some of my testimony! I didn't plan it that way but there it is. Somebody correcting my paper needed to hear about the Lord and his mercy. I even started off wrong, having to cross it out, but that gave some of my background with the Lord. I praise Him that He can use my simple placement test for His glory! It'll take a week for me to get the test results, but that'll show me what classes I'll need to start off in next semester. I also ran into a former fellow volunteer for Muskegon Pregnancy Services (I'm the former, she still volunteers.). She was there before I began volunteering there and she's still there. She's on her last year at MCC before she moves on to GVU (Psych major I think). It was good to see her and catch up a bit. Also, check out the new links - to Anna, Stephanie, and Leslie's blogs.

Newbee

2005-10-31T12:52:00.000-05:00

Hello,

I'm just a newbee. It's a little intimidating to think that if I'm not paying attention I may write more than I'd like. It seems so impersonal to just write a letter to whoever. It can make a person more verbally adventurous than normal - so - watch out! :) I'm really not that wild. Really. No, no emoticons yet. Maybe later. Today began as an up day. I got out of bed & by the time I was on my way to work it was a down day. Negative thoughts & especially entertaining them as possibly true can do that to you. Then I got to work & had a chance to talk to my friend & co-worker, Anna. It's good to have friends to talk to when your down. The day became an upper again. Thanks Anna for helping me to call lies, lies, and to refocus on the truth. "Know the truth and the truth will set you free" " thy Word is truth" "I am the truth"(Jesus) " God is good and His love endures forever!"